Okay, 21st century night just sucked. The only performances I even remember are Taylor’s (which was SO much better than that frenzied dancing of his last week), Chris’ (because I love that song), and Elliott’s (because it brought back some fond Bo-Bice memories).

And then… shocker: the bottom three were Lisa, Ace and Katharine. The hell? And here I thought she was America’s sweetheart.

Lisa was out, of course. She’s been picking the wrong songs for the past couple of weeks now, so it was just time.

This must be the best review I’ve read on Idol so far:

… I went to the living room and put on a Beatles disk, the real ones not as covered by American Idol contestants, to drown out the twang. She responded by saying, “I ain’t never heard of no Beatles. Are they like Garth Brooks?”

To which I said, “You know dear, I saw a picture in the National Enquirer of Kellie Pickler reading Wittgenstein while dressed in one of Jennifer Lopez’s old awards show outfits. I think she’s faking it. You might as well pretend to be Mandisa.”

“Are you saying that I’m fat?”

“No no, dear, Mandisa’s a very dignified spiritually-centered individual with a great voice, not some blonde with a backstory who pretends not to know what ‘ballsy’ is.”

Go read the rest of it.

If you ask me, Barry Manilow did an excellent job with the Idols last night. I mean, there were no really bad performances. Chris stole the show for me, though.

But yes, it was finally time for Kevin to go. Goodbye, Chicken Little.

Suddenly, everyone’s obsessed with my boyfriend Taylor Hicks:

There’s Gray Charles, a Taylor Hicks weblog, which pronounces “Whoo!” as “the new Yeah!” and sells t-shirts, coffeecups and mousepads. Vote4Idol, an online voting site for fans, has Taylor leading the pack right now with 862910 (or 17.60%) of votes. And there are more articles about Taylor than any other Idol contestant so far.

Of course I love him. I was hooked the moment he started yelling “Soul Patrol!” Whoo!

Melissa McGhee, 21 from Tampa, Florida, goes home. I really liked her raspy voice, but… forgetting Stevie’s lyrics twice?

The big surprise of the evening, of course, were the other two contestants in the bottom three: Ace and Lisa. Everyone- including me- expected to see Kevin and Kellie up there. Maybe even Bucky. But Ace and his bedroom eyes? Lisa and her stage confidence? What’s happening, America?