This must be the best review I’ve read on Idol so far:

… I went to the living room and put on a Beatles disk, the real ones not as covered by American Idol contestants, to drown out the twang. She responded by saying, “I ain’t never heard of no Beatles. Are they like Garth Brooks?”

To which I said, “You know dear, I saw a picture in the National Enquirer of Kellie Pickler reading Wittgenstein while dressed in one of Jennifer Lopez’s old awards show outfits. I think she’s faking it. You might as well pretend to be Mandisa.”

“Are you saying that I’m fat?”

“No no, dear, Mandisa’s a very dignified spiritually-centered individual with a great voice, not some blonde with a backstory who pretends not to know what ‘ballsy’ is.”

Go read the rest of it.